明明白白

很多人活在世上不明白，今天翻看我之前对于我和ZY的关系的预测，大概也有猜到一点点。

她虽然上进有野心，但是细微之处注意到了吗？身边的机会抓住了吗？ 两个人共患难，可以吗？ 时间还是非常短。而且人都会变/ 或正向变，或负向变。

之前也是提过一个问题---和一个人建立关系，他人能得到什么，我能得到什么？大家能否满足对方的需要呢？

贵族的学校，和高贵的品格

前段时间和Jonathan 一起去拜访Dr.T.C.Chen;还有就是Yale,并且在马院士家里住了一晚。成功的人一定有自己的方法，和与他人不同的地方。

马院士就是一例，在YALE 沁浸了30多年，他的品质里已经和Yale部分你我。我是一个粗鄙的人，出身低贱，就我的观察而言有几点最让我感受深刻：

1。高贵的傲骨。 Never Play Cheap.在骨子里就是高贵的。

2。说话从来就是造就人，从来不诋毁和毁坏别人。

3。不紧不慢的幽默。但是小事处理起来非常快。几乎不会有任何的迟疑和拖延。

4。充分的尊重他人的人格。 不管位置高低，都以一律很有礼貌和尊重。

5。在谦逊中，有着不卑不亢的自信。每人能够夺得走，撼得动。

愿上帝祝福他们，也愿我能吸收足够的好的营养，长大，结果。

杂想

观察一：

去年暑假帮Larry Gao在深圳做生意，很有趣的一点：观察基督徒和非基督徒的无名指，所有的结婚的基督徒的无名指上都带着Ring, 而属世的台湾朋友，则只有一个带着，其他的都没有带。挺有意思的一个现象。 同样对比中国和美国，中国人里平时带着Ring的较少，而美国结婚的带着Ring的比例却大很多。 有趣吗？ 为什么呢？这个后面反映了什么呢？ 

我想主要的不同是基督教文化的影响。

观察二：有些非常好的虔诚的基督徒说他们做祷告时，被生灵充满，脑海里就会出现picture,乃是上帝的指引。我自己是基督徒，但非非常虔诚的，所以一直没有感受到这一点。但我的问题是，我们都是罪人(Sinner），即使我们脑海中有影像，但是会不会因着我们的罪，这些影像并不是来自上帝的，而是来自自己内心的，即或是来自上帝的，是否有偏差呢？

目前对我而言，尚不能有影像，目前能否阅读圣经，将自己生活里的琐事，小事，尽量match 这些原则就相当不错了。作为基督徒最重要的不仅是input,而是Output哪些。

观察三：

过一个prudent 的生活，目前我将自己的保险，降到了两辆车$345,凡事都有代价，这个代价就是开车一定要谨慎小心。但是这个代价是好的，是保险的。是对任何人都有益处的。况且有神的保守，所以放心。

观察四：关于Obama作总统的。老子说福祸相生，一生二，二生三，三生万物。很多时候不知道事情的好坏，而且事情本身也没有绝对好坏的。主要是看问题的角度。如果不是bush administration搞得这么差，估计Obama也没机会做总统。如果他不能做总统，不知要等多少年，才出现一个黑人总统，才消除真正的种族主义。所以什么叫好，什么叫坏，大部分时候是说不清的。

她

她判断力有问题。。。

他逻辑力有问题

它从来不主动

我要继续吗。当然不。

The difference between winners and losers.

MONDAY, AUGUST 27, 2007

The difference between winners and losers.

What is the difference between a winner and a loser? How can you tell if someone is a winner who has suffered a temporary defeat or a loser? How can you tell if you yourself have become a loser?

Easy, listen for the excuse. Losers always make excuses, its why they're losers. Winners own their failures and learn from them.

This simple and mostly under appreciated fact is what all the feminists, minority activists, social justice types, socialists, leftists, redistribution of wealth types, etc simply don't get. Losers make excuses, winners make things happen.

Find yourself complaining about "rampant and institutional sexism in America" as the reason you didn't get that job you wanted? You're a loser. Find yourself bitching about the "ever present racism of American employers" as the reason you didn't get a job? Congratulations you just made the loser list. Think the reason a colleague got the promotion instead of you is because of your color, sex, religion, etc? You are a loser.

This is not a sometimes rule, or a rule of thumb, its a hard rule. Anytime you make excuses for your failures, you have become a loser. Period.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the "wage gap" between men and women doesn't exist as a practical matter, men and women with similar age, education, and experience, earn the same amount. So why do you hear so much about it? Losers. Losers are always looking for an excuse. An excuse which allows them to place the blame on society itself are particularly popular since it will always be "valid". After all, despite the fact that more women are graduating college every year than men, the wage gap is non-existent, and the glass ceiling has been shattered, have feminists stopped bitching about sexism as the reason women aren't as successful at the highest levels as men?
Of course not. They're losers, and losers need their excuses.
Go into any poor neighborhood and start talking to people about why they don't make more money, you'll hear about sexism, racism, affirmative action, immigrants, the cost of college, "privilege", corporatism etc. Not one person will place the blame for their failures on their own lack of interest in self improvement, not one will blame his failure on his lack of education or skills, or on their lack of desire to obtain said. People who spend 100 dollars a week on beer and cigarettes will tell you with a straight face that they cant "afford" healthcare, trade school, or higher education. Guys who are out the door as soon as their shift is over decry their inability to get promoted.
In the meantime immigrants who come to this country illegally are usually able to begin earning more than natives with similar education and skills within a few years of crossing the border.
The truth is, America is the land of opportunity if you're willing to make the sacrifices necessary to capitalise on that opportunity. Wanna get ahead? Work harder, spend less. Wanna get promoted? Put in more hours, begin helping current management, act as a manager and they will make you one. Want a raise? Make yourself more valuable than your coworkers. Want to get that job? Dress well at the interview, speak well at the interview, have the skills, qualifications, and experience necessary to do the job, and you might get it.

Being a winner is hard. It means not taking the easy way out, not making excuses, it means working both hard, and smart. It means that when you have a temporary failure, you ask yourself "what could I have done differently" instead of "how did the world wrong me this time"? It means that even in instances where sexism, or racism, or other ism's may have been reason you failed, you intentionally ignore the possibility and focus on what you did wrong instead.

Now that last sentence may have thrown a few of you. It wasn't a typo. Even in a situation where you have a good, solid, reason to suspect an ism may be the reason things didn't go your way, focus on yourself instead. Why? Because while thinking "I didn't get that job because the interviewer is a racist/sexist/ageist" etc, may be emotionally satisfying, it doesn't help you improve at all. Looking at the interview and saying "I should have done X,Y,and Z, better" will. Saying to yourself "I didn't get the promotion because I'm a woman" may help you accept the disappointment of not getting the promotion, and it will probably make you better about yourself, but it wont help you get the next one. Asking yourself "What are some of the reasons I may not have gotten this promotion, and how can I change that" will. Even if this one instance was sexism, simply getting into the habit of self criticizing will lead to long term improvement. More to the point, you will be far better positioned to compete against others at your next job.

But bitching about ism's? Coming up with complex theories to explain why others are getting what you want? Complaining about "privilege" or "patriarchies",and "invisible and institutional" biases?

That's for losers.

Winners make things happen, Losers make excuses. Which are you?

开放我们的思想

世界的多样性 导致了对于同样的事情的截然相反的反应...

比如: 一个人要哭,劝得人如果说 哭什么哭,即使哭,你对这上帝去哭吧.

如果劝的人 不是基督徒,那么这句话可能就是很伤人的话.

如果劝的人 是基督徒,那么这句话可能就是世界上最好的安慰.

所以世界上任何的一件事都回又两种截然不同的反应,不要大惊小怪.保持思路开阔.多留个心眼观察一下.

隔绝

今年无聊 看了会儿porn. 

后来觉得真的有隔绝的感觉。 感觉不好。。。

没有精神的愉悦，纯粹肉体的放纵。

不是不好，没有爱，乃是虚空。